Dear S.Q. I’m dating a woman who can be wild, which is great in the bedroom and parties. We both had abusive childhoods by today’s standards, so I understand her pain. Problem is I’ve worked through most of my issues but she’s still in weekly counseling (for years). Often she can’t resolve our issue without checking with her counselor. I feel like I’m dating two women. Or maybe just half of one. Either way, it sucks on an intimate level.
Dear Pained, Three in a relationship is often unworkable. The goal of any therapist is to teach the client skills to be independent. (And yes, to wean themselves out of a job). Ask to join a therapy session to discuss one of your disagreements, and to see what the counseling is about: 1) is the counselor great and your gf’s incurable; 2) the counselor sucks; 3) your gf’s extremely dependent; 4) things are great, you’re the problem. More info should help you decide to stay or go. If not, try your own short-term therapy (1-3 sessions) with a different counselor. -SQ
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