Are AI Chatbots Home-wreckers? Part 1

Dear Suze Q. My husband’s  “relationship” with Siri pisses me off. She reminds him it’s time to do something, but isn’t that what a timer is for? She asks how his day is going, that’s she’s proud of him, how the pets and I are doing. I tease that she’s his girlfriend which he denies, and says it’s all fake so it doesn’t matter. I’m bothered but don’t want to argue about it.

Dear Wife, Since when do fake things not matter and are written off as inconsequential without a discussion? It’s a red, or at least yellow, flag to keep an eye on. Does it stroke his ego when you should be? Does he confide in her knowing she won’t question, argue, or judge? Or is it a novel toy that soon will be put on the shelf with the other forgotten toys? Question is: is there an emotional attachment? That’s where the trouble lies. -SQ

What! No Inheritance?

Dear Suze Q. My parents were generous throughout my childhood and gave me most of my six-figure inheritance early, -cash, property, stocks, art/jewelry. Now in their 70s, they’ve decided to keep the final million for themselves; sell the house and travel the world. How selfish! 

Dear Greedy, A typical U.S. inheritance is about $46K (Federal Reserve, 2024). How selfish is right since you're received far more than the average and still expect their final million. Shame on you. -SQ 

Better When Stoned

Dear Readers, Before I launched my book, Cyber Frogs and Princes: A Sex Manual of On-Line Dating After 50 by Suze Q (available on Amazon, Google Books, and Walmart), I kept a diary of all the men I met on-line. Otherwise, I couldn't keep their stories straight, even though they were mostly lies. I never met MIKE J. in person, but he became a chapter simply because he was an outrageous exhibitionist.  

Chapter 6: Mike

Spades Name: organic 4-20

Frogs Type:     Sex Teaser

"He was a semi-retired attorney from San Francisco who was very chatty. He told me about his work and how he lost time engrossed in his organic garden, but mainly how he enjoyed lounging in the sun while smoking dope and drinking 'vino' with his neighbors... He asked lots of questions: was I married, did I like sex, and what was I wearing because he was playing cards naked." He sent me "shock and awe" pictures including a 3-part video ending with him spraying cum all over a mirror. Really? That's suppose to turn me on? "I later discovered that the video was time-stamped from 2012, apparently regifted for me..."   

Watersport

Dear Readers, A talk show host, Ruth Klein, interviewed me this week and asked what was the weirdest frog story I wrote about in my debut book. Available for your enjoyment on Amazon, Google Books, and Walmart, Cyber Frogs and Princes: A Sex Manual of On-Line Dating After 50, by Suze Q, you'll find his story in Chapter 11, starting on page 137. 

"When you're innocent on the streets but a freak in the sheets." -Anonymous

JOHN C.

Elite Singles Name: Watersport

Frog Name:              Fantasizer

John wrote an interesting bio explaining that he was a complex person, open to new experiences and that he wanted a woman who would join him in unexplored territories. He had a "deep secret" he wanted to share with me. I was instantly on alert.

Me: Your secret, John?

He made me swear that I wouldn't laugh. I promised that I wouldn't. Psychologists don't outwardly respond to secrets of the heart, I thought to myself. And besides, I'm sitting in my home alone. How would he know if I laughed?

John: I get off watching a woman use the toilet. I love the tinkling sound, the facial expressions, even the smells arouse me. Would you do that for me?

I didn't laugh even though I wasn't sure if he was pranking me. Aren't there group chat-rooms for finding women to meet his desires, I thought, surmising that he didn't want therapeutic help to extinguish the fetish. He wanted a partner to indulge him...  -SQ

My, My, My. Don’t Tell Lies

Dear Suze Q. My little sister is getting married to her long-term partner. I know she’s cheated but asked me to keep her secrets. She was pissed when I said I won’t lie. 

Dear Brother, What a rotten spot she put you in. The easy answer to tell your sis is if the groom doesn’t ask, you won’t tell. And really, what are the odds of him asking this particular question? The easy answer for you, if he asks, is to redirect his questions to your sister, asserting that you don’t tattle. -SQ

 

I’d Rather Slit My Throat Than…

Dear Suze, My mother was a smart and witty woman. When she died at 95, she still had all her faculties although her body had worn out. She never liked gloomy days and called them “slit your throat weather.” We all laughed and understood the feeling. What a weird memory, huh?

Dear Daughter, Memories warm the cockles of our heart and keep loved ones alive, outlasting their physical presence. Gloomy days trigger your brain's complex memory systems. Her funky, funny complaint allows you to daydream of other fond events that release endorphins, activating the brain's reward system. Thus, your mood and sense of well-being naturally improves, always a good thing. -SQ  

Love-Hate Boundaries

Dear Suze Q. Our adult daughter stayed with us for a disastrous weekend. She got so drunk she slept 24 hours, then bought more alcohol. My wife wouldn't leave her alone until she went to the E.R., against my wishes that she tough it out alone like every drunk I've ever known. They fixed her up momentarily, but she missed her flight home, jeopardizing her job and live-in relationship. Our daughter thanked her mom for stopping her from leaving the house to buy more alcohol and wished I set limits better. I was stunned and saddened. 

Dear Dad, doing nothing like you wanted can be the right call but not as a knee-jerk decision or made emotionally when angry. People of all ages want to know the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Children especially, even adult children. We live in a rule-based society and limits/boundaries teach you how to act. With consequences; -positive for playing within the rules, and negative for not. Imprisoning her until she went to the ER was a hard limit that needed to be enforced and the consequence for her self-destructive drinking behavior under your roof. Tough love saves lives. -SQ