Texting, the New Pick-Up Language

Jumping back into the dating pool after the marriage is over, the kids have gone, and you’re done pretending that you’re happy to die alone, -you decide to date. Terrified or excited or both, it’s time to kiss frogs, again, looking for your Prince(ss) Charming. You join a dating app and begin texting with complete strangers, exchanging bits and pieces of each other’s lives -sometimes the truth, or half-truth, or flat out lies. ✅ out Amazon (Kindle KDP) for my debut book: Cyber Frogs And Princes: A Sex Manual Of On-Line Dating After 50 by Suze Q

 

Is Father’s Day a Second Rate Holiday?

Dear Suze, The grown kids and I ask my husband every year what he wants for Father’s Day, same as they ask me for Mother’s Day. For both, we all get together for a nice meal. Father’s Day gifts are sports related; Mother’s Day are not. I hear and read a lot of bellyaching about Father’s Day isn’t as celebrated. Why?

Dear Mother, Mother’s Day began in the US in 1908 and is now universally celebrated by more than 40 countries. Although Father’s Day was proposed in 1908 too as a day to honor miner’s who died in an accident in WA, it didn’t become a U.S. national holiday until two years later. But… celebrating Father’s Day has been traced as far back as 1508 in religion circles, and is an international holiday celebrated in over, a whopping, 112 countries! Nothing second-rate about it. Remind the bellyachers of these facts. -SQ

Balboa Island

In my 20s, I lived as a single hippy chick two blocks from the Pacific Ocean in Newport Beach, CA. Balboa Island was a nightly happening with the Fun Zone’s Ferris wheel, arcade, and merry-go-round next door to friendly bars with loud music. 

When I started dating again, a reborn virgin 20 years after my divorce, Willie took me to Balboa where we necked like teenagers. But alas, the next day I received this text:

Willie: I was amazed that during the short time we spent together that I was so sexually aroused by you.  After my prostate cancer 15 years ago, sex with my wife was always aided by pharmaceuticals and manipulation. Our get-together opened flood gates and scared the hell out of me so I am retreating into my comfortable world and cannot see you again. Don't ask for more of an explanation because I just don't have one.  

He hoped that I'd forgive him but the experience was too overwhelming. I can be a big supporter of forgiveness and wished him well. I'm equally a fan of forgive and forget, Willie who?

Excerpt from Chapter 15: Willie.  Available on Amazon in Suze Q's debut book: Cyber Frogs And Princes: A Sex Manual Of On-Line Dating After 50.  Pick up a copy now, just in time for Father's Day, or fun summer reading. -SQ

Juneteenth

Dear Readers. Are you celebrating? Because it’s the opening of the Obama Presidential Center on the south-side of Chicago? Or more humbling, because today celebrates the U.S. federal holiday 🎉, Juneteenth National Independence Day, the day slavery officially ended in Texas in 1865, -two years and five months AFTER President Lincoln freed all slaves by the Emancipation Proclamation. I’m happy to celebrate both of these events, but I will be ecstatic when freedom truly means acceptance, inclusion, and broad-mindedness. -SQ   

Fancy Pants or Smarty Pants? Maybe Sassy Pants?

Dear Suze Q, I’ve read dating advice about how to dress until my mind blurs. Dress your age -I’m almost 60, but feel 40. Dress comfortably -shorts, t-shirt, and sandals won’t alway work. Dress to reflect your personality -which part? My serious side, my playful one, or my dress-to-make-your-eyes-pop-out look?

Dear Blurred, Forget that you’re going to interview someone who could be your Prince Charming. In reality, you’re going to have fun, so do so, and expect nothing more. Dress appropriately for the occasion (coffee, opera, hiking), then look in the mirror and see what first impression you’re going to make. If you like what you see, happy with yourself, then let the flirting begin! -SQ

Hot & Horny Hanky-Panky

Dear SQ, My partner and I are busy but look forward to date nights without the kids, like when we courted. We’re both touchy-feely and love sex. How can we prolong the pleasure? 

Dear Sexual. Let’s think deep! Instead of jumping into another new sex position to get fired up, start with the brain to slowly get the juices flowing.

1) Mind-meld. No touching each other for 15 minutes, but lay face-to-face, and talk/giggle/play: truth or (no) dare/tell me a secret/tell me a fantasy/tell a story together alternating chapters/ask “would you rather” dirty questions/ask or show what would you like me to do to you & you to do for me/tell me one thing you like about the other. Use all your senses, except touch. 

2) Touch. Layer up and play strip poker, but the winner strips the loser. Blindfold both of you and slowly, simultaneously undress the other (wear lots of buttons, catches, zippers). Give your blindfolded partner a small food bit on a spoon to feed to you while lying nude in bed; when the spoon falls, they have to find the food somewhere on your body with their mouth as you verbally hint where to feel.

3) Out of bed (or house). Role play -at a crowded bar/restaurant/park, hook-up with your partner play-acting as a stranger. In public, but somewhat sheltered, touch underneath clothing/talk about clothes you’re not wearing/rub the other’s bulges (careful of the legalities). The tried-and true: doctor/patient, teacher/student, Tarzan/Jane (bondage), Batman/Poison Ivy (superpowers), naughty neighbors, repairman/homeowner…  Love to play and play to love. -SQ

My Prince Charming

Dear Suze, I've found my perfect prince after years of dating. I've revised my formula to the top three attributes: 1) takes care of himself and those he loves (from fresh breath to strong family ties); 2) equality (from 2-way conversations to balanced power in relationships); and 3) chemistry (an autonomic connection on an internal level that makes everything easy and a partnership). 

Dear Perfect Princess: That's a lot more complicated than tall, dark, and handsome which is often a formula for a fabulous one-night stand and nothing more. Congrats! This may be the winning combination. -SQ