She’s Deaf, He's Dumbfounded

Dear Suze Q, My bride of 50 years is getting harder of hearing every day. I don’t talk without eye contact. "When can we talk about your hearing?" gets no reply (and I know she hears me).

Dear Husband, Hearing, like eyesight and forgetfulness, are things that sneak up on a person making DENIAL the option of choice. Often for years. "Not my problem, others just whisper," they tell themselves. 

But if realistic at all, it’s "I'll wait until it's worse," or "It's too expensive," or a mañana attitude. After that hurdle, the three biggest impediments to getting hearing improved are: 1) Accepting they have a hearing loss that won't get better without help; 2) Motivation to get help, including resources: people to help, money/insurance, excellent audiology assessment not pimping any one product/company. 3) Get help until you are happy with the right hearing aides. 

If she won't listen to you, is there someone who she would about their positive experience? Peer pressure even works (sometimes) with elders. -SQ

   

There Are Days I’m So Lazy That…

Dear S.Q. I’m in my late 70s and love to read and nap. Today was drizzling all day and I never got out of bed or my p.j.s except to eat or do essentials. My husband’s worried I won’t sleep at night (which is always a problem), my bones will atrophy from lack of exercise (maybe), or I’ll just die prematurely in my sleep. Is there a real problem here?

Dear Sleepy-head. Are you choosing to stay in bed or is it difficult to get up and about? Excessive sleeping maybe a sign of depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) caused by many things including lack of (sun)light. If so, don't poo-poo it or it can lead to worse things. If you have this pattern year after year, then it's not a fluke but disruption in your circadian rhythm cycle and needs treatment. Atrophied bones, unused muscles? Well, maybe, so hike to the grocery store for vitamins. Or...

Two choices come to mind, and I'm sure you and your hubby can think of more. Stop fretting. If you want reasons to get up, create some, or get a dog that requires attention. If you want to stay in bed, that's what DoorDash and soft mattresses were made for. Indulge while your age allows you these choices. -SQ 

Phone Your Departed Loved Ones

Dear Suze Q, A shout-out to your reader (September 28, 2026) asking what to do with old phone contacts of people who are no longer with us. It got conversation going with our friends and family. 

We were under mandatory evacuation during the devastating Eaton fire in California in January, 2025. Had the fierce Santa Ana winds turned west, instead of east that frightened night, we could have lost it all. We are grateful to Seamus Bozeman who created this sacred "wind phone," a grieving spot at the Healing Arts Center of Altadena with an unconnected rotary phone where anyone can have a one-way conversation with their deceased loved ones. Thought you could generate some discussion with your readers. 

Dear Eaton Survivor, Thank you for this wonderful information. There are over 460 "wind phones" across the U.S., (nearly 700 worldwide), usually in quiet, serene spaces. An interactive and searchable map of locations is available through My Wind Phone Map or The Telephone of the Wind. Forever connected across time and space. -SQ 

Update! Romance Scammers Latest Scam

Dear Readers, If you've ever been caught up in a romance scam, or know anyone who has, you know how devastating it can be. To your self-esteem -you feel like a horse's ass for being so stupid AND you're positive everyone is snickering about what a boob you are.  X is such a desperate, lonely woman, but this stupid? To your finances -you lost how many thousands of dollars??? To your relationships -Mom that was my inheritance! Why didn't you talk to me first, sis?

To add insult to injury, the latest fraud is for a coordinated theft ring to swoop in on the already scammed person, offering low prices to recover their losses. The con artists need to be paid through untraceable cryptocurrency, gift cards, and/or P2P (Peer-to-Peer payments like Zelle, Venmo, PayPal). 

In 2025, romance scams were the leading financial fraud in the U.S., costing citizens approximately $1.5B, $1.2T globally -surpassing the loss from illicit drug trade. The Romance Scam Prevention Act is working its way through the legislature which will require dating companies to warn users of potential scammers, -way too little, way too late, as most legit companies provide this service automatically. Another bill wants to centralize reporting of conned victims. What this spotlight has done right is to force these matchmaking services to revamp their outdated scam detection systems.

My three romance scams, two long cons and one short con, during my five year dating spree are detailed in my book, available on Amazon, Google Books, and Walmart. Cyber Frogs and Princes: A Sex Manual Of On-Line Dating After 50 by Suze Q.  Cheers and beers, my friends. -SQ

Baby Boomer's Baby

Dear S.Q. I'm a Baby Boomer in my late 70s and loved the age I grew up in. But apparently we got some things wrong, like giving every kid on the team a participation trophy just for showing up, or those stupid kindergarten and 6th grade graduations. Now our darling, ungrateful, over-indulged adult children criticize us, but they have yet to shoulder the responsibility and build on what we handed them. Their personal freedoms, what they take for granted as god-given rights, were ones we fought for decades in fierce cultural wars. Those liberties are being threatened today and our kids need to step up and carry forward those fragile fights for rights.

Dear Boomer, WOW! You have strong opinions, and hopefully you raised your kids to be equally ferocious fighters for what they believe. You're the parent, so be patient and help them turn their criticism to action for change, just like your generation did. -SQ

Siri Sent It By Mistake?

Dear S.Q. I received a message from my cousin recommending a book, but my phone was off so I didn’t see it until the morning AND there was a lengthy AI response thanking my cousin, waiting for me to hit send. I am pissed. No one has access to my phone and I didn’t do it in my sleep. Who do I even complain to about AI writing a response without permission? AI Overviews says my "iPhone likely replied automatically because of Siri voice activation..." or "Siri sent it by mistake." I never use Siri so wtf? 

Dear Apple User, You may never use Siri, but she uses you. Much like a leach that sucks its host... Fix: Go to settings > Apple Intelligence & Siri (or Siri & Search) and check out what's “on” including ChatGPT extension and other (un)useful intrusions. Who do you complain to is probably not worth your emotional energy because while you’re searching endless rabbit holes, they’re tracking and analyzing your movements. Pick your fights with AI where you have something to gain; this isn’t one of them. -SQ 

Death By Chocolate

Dear Suz, I heard a woman tell her husband in the grocery store to splurge and get both ice creams because AIs will eradicate humans in the next few years. We exchanged knowing nods wondering if doomsday was here or if man will sidestep another apocalypse. I’m not panicked yet, but I remember air raid drills in my youth and my dad’s WWII war stories. How do I function like everything’s ok and prepare if it’s not?

Dear Baby Boomer, Who knows when humanity will go extinct. What you can count on is that your time living on Earth is finite. That’s why people create bucket lists and mottos like “live each day as if it were your last.” Many people believe the cycle of life is natural, from birth to death to rebirth. Killed by old age or disease, timely or senselessly, intentional or accidental, are just means to an eventual next stage. Death by chocolate? -SQ