Tuesday in La-La Land

Dear Readers, There's a guy in Los Angeles that I catch on the radio news stations who gives a blurb about Los Angeles history. Although I've lived here most of my life, I always learn new things.

California's nickname is the Golden State because of the 1849 gold rush fortune seekers. Now, with 400 millions residents, it is the most populous state in the union and the 5th largest economy in the world. The City of Los Angeles is not like Paris or London with fairly confined boundaries, but encompasses 500 square miles. Downtown Los Angeles, “DTLA” is the epicenter extending 40 miles in any direction, from the ocean to the mountains. 

For singles, surfers, and sunworshippers, the top spot today is the 75 degree Venice Beach. Park and stroll the 2.5 mile sandy promenade slurping a liquor-laced snow cone or inhaling the salt and marijuana breeze. Street food rivals the best carnivals or drop $100+ for a gourmet fresh-from-the-ocean meal with award-winning local California wines. The street artists that welcome your participation include several Michael Jacksons, Elvis, body painters, dangerous jugglers, dancers, and well-dressed, cross-dressed, but mostly undressed bodies to whet every appetite. But like every good "peep show," look but don't touch, donations appreciated.

We're almost to the highlight of our trip, the Skatepark and Muscle Beach. After you've been scooted off the boardwalk onto the sand by bicyclers, roller skaters, surf/wake/skimboarders, you view the concrete bowl-and-street course, where the local, and imported taut bodies come to show off and dream big. It's a few steps off the sand on a patch of grass with barriers surrounding the concrete because sand and skates don't roll well. Although helmets, elbow, and knee pads are required dress, not much else is. 

Past the sand volleyball courts, is the heart-stopping view of Muscle Beach. Besides the numerous documentaries, the crap movies of Muscle Beach Party, Bikini Beach, and The Happytime Murders, the view is spectacular. The extensive outdoor workout equipment is open to the public, and used routinely for their extensive gymnastics training area by world famous body builders, gymnastics, acrobats, and serious competitors. It's been a wonderful day in the sun. Come join us in La-La Land. -SQ    

“Matches Your Interests”

Dear Suze Q,  I don't want AI reading my mind with ads that “matches your interests” after I look at something for a second or make a comment out loud. If I want a consult, I'll ask my wife!

Dear Hubby, This is what is called a "push recommendation" triggered by AI tracking everything about you -your search history, posts you like or don't, how hong you hover over an item, what you click. It doesn’t actually read your mind, but tracking every move you make is damn close. Intrusive? You bet. Controllable? Maybe, to a degree. AIs are programmed to bring you back to the app when you're inactive (like a mosquito that circles until you kill it). They also annoy you when their system receives a "match" of some new item in their database that you've shown a previous interest. And, of course, there's the ones you set as default "personalized updates" or marketing that you can turn off. Fix: Settings or Profile > Notifications, or Privacy & Data > toggle your options off or on. My AI Overview helpfully offers: "I can give you the exact steps to shut those alerts down" but maybe I won't if I don't feel like it... S.Q

She’s Deaf, He's Dumbfounded

Dear Suze Q, My bride of 50 years is getting harder of hearing every day. I don’t talk without eye contact. "When can we talk about your hearing?" gets no reply (and I know she hears me).

Dear Husband, Hearing, like eyesight and forgetfulness, are things that sneak up on a person making DENIAL the option of choice. Often for years. "Not my problem, others just whisper," they tell themselves. 

But if realistic at all, it’s "I'll wait until it's worse," or "It's too expensive," or a mañana attitude. After that hurdle, the three biggest impediments to getting hearing improved are: 1) Accepting they have a hearing loss that won't get better without help; 2) Motivation to get help, including resources: people to help, money/insurance, excellent audiology assessment not pimping any one product/company. 3) Get help until you are happy with the right hearing aides. 

If she won't listen to you, is there someone who she would about their positive experience? Peer pressure even works (sometimes) with elders. -SQ

   

There Are Days I’m So Lazy That…

Dear S.Q. I’m in my late 70s and love to read and nap. Today was drizzling all day and I never got out of bed or my p.j.s except to eat or do essentials. My husband’s worried I won’t sleep at night (which is always a problem), my bones will atrophy from lack of exercise (maybe), or I’ll just die prematurely in my sleep. Is there a real problem here?

Dear Sleepy-head. Are you choosing to stay in bed or is it difficult to get up and about? Excessive sleeping maybe a sign of depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) caused by many things including lack of (sun)light. If so, don't poo-poo it or it can lead to worse things. If you have this pattern year after year, then it's not a fluke but disruption in your circadian rhythm cycle and needs treatment. Atrophied bones, unused muscles? Well, maybe, so hike to the grocery store for vitamins. Or...

Two choices come to mind, and I'm sure you and your hubby can think of more. Stop fretting. If you want reasons to get up, create some, or get a dog that requires attention. If you want to stay in bed, that's what DoorDash and soft mattresses were made for. Indulge while your age allows you these choices. -SQ 

Phone Your Departed Loved Ones

Dear Suze Q, A shout-out to your reader (September 28, 2026) asking what to do with old phone contacts of people who are no longer with us. It got conversation going with our friends and family. 

We were under mandatory evacuation during the devastating Eaton fire in California in January, 2025. Had the fierce Santa Ana winds turned west, instead of east that frightened night, we could have lost it all. We are grateful to Seamus Bozeman who created this sacred "wind phone," a grieving spot at the Healing Arts Center of Altadena with an unconnected rotary phone where anyone can have a one-way conversation with their deceased loved ones. Thought you could generate some discussion with your readers. 

Dear Eaton Survivor, Thank you for this wonderful information. There are over 460 "wind phones" across the U.S., (nearly 700 worldwide), usually in quiet, serene spaces. An interactive and searchable map of locations is available through My Wind Phone Map or The Telephone of the Wind. Forever connected across time and space. -SQ 

Update! Romance Scammers Latest Scam

Dear Readers, If you've ever been caught up in a romance scam, or know anyone who has, you know how devastating it can be. To your self-esteem -you feel like a horse's ass for being so stupid AND you're positive everyone is snickering about what a boob you are.  X is such a desperate, lonely woman, but this stupid? To your finances -you lost how many thousands of dollars??? To your relationships -Mom that was my inheritance! Why didn't you talk to me first, sis?

To add insult to injury, the latest fraud is for a coordinated theft ring to swoop in on the already scammed person, offering low prices to recover their losses. The con artists need to be paid through untraceable cryptocurrency, gift cards, and/or P2P (Peer-to-Peer payments like Zelle, Venmo, PayPal). 

In 2025, romance scams were the leading financial fraud in the U.S., costing citizens approximately $1.5B, $1.2T globally -surpassing the loss from illicit drug trade. The Romance Scam Prevention Act is working its way through the legislature which will require dating companies to warn users of potential scammers, -way too little, way too late, as most legit companies provide this service automatically. Another bill wants to centralize reporting of conned victims. What this spotlight has done right is to force these matchmaking services to revamp their outdated scam detection systems.

My three romance scams, two long cons and one short con, during my five year dating spree are detailed in my book, available on Amazon, Google Books, and Walmart. Cyber Frogs and Princes: A Sex Manual Of On-Line Dating After 50 by Suze Q.  Cheers and beers, my friends. -SQ

Baby Boomer's Baby

Dear S.Q. I'm a Baby Boomer in my late 70s and loved the age I grew up in. But apparently we got some things wrong, like giving every kid on the team a participation trophy just for showing up, or those stupid kindergarten and 6th grade graduations. Now our darling, ungrateful, over-indulged adult children criticize us, but they have yet to shoulder the responsibility and build on what we handed them. Their personal freedoms, what they take for granted as god-given rights, were ones we fought for decades in fierce cultural wars. Those liberties are being threatened today and our kids need to step up and carry forward those fragile fights for rights.

Dear Boomer, WOW! You have strong opinions, and hopefully you raised your kids to be equally ferocious fighters for what they believe. You're the parent, so be patient and help them turn their criticism to action for change, just like your generation did. -SQ