When To Be Firm

Dear S.Q. My 90-year old mother has mild dementia and lives in an apartment with 24-hour companion/care. She’s had two credit card charges last month that she authorized but doesn’t remember. I took away her card and said the company won’t authorize a new one (true). She insisted she needs the card to treat her friends to lunch. I’d hate to take away her phone too where she gives her credit info to bogus scams. Though she misplaces the phone often, I can track it, and it’s one little pleasure left to call her (tolerant) friends. 

Dear Son, Give her cash every time she needs. End of discussion. Buy one of many available phones that solely texts and calls, without internet. Tell her it’s a new phone! End of discussion. When you allow room for debate with Mom, you’ve lost control, and done her no service. She needs someone to repeatedly tell and reinforce the rules to keep her safe. -SQ

When The Good Guy Seems Like The Bad Guy

Dear Suze Q. It’s gotten so my dad can’t live by himself or with me or my sisters anymore. He broke his hip and requires a wheelchair, maybe forever. He’s incontinent, can’t grip or feed himself, has trouble swallowing. We cried when we moved him from acute-care to a group home. He’s begged us to not leave him and wants to know what he has to do to come home.

Dear Good Son, The reality is that Dad may never return home. Giving him some sliver of hope is better than bluntly killing his dreams. Ex: tell him when he can walk independently, or feed himself a full meal, the doctors (not the family) can send him home. Stick to the truth -kids can’t lift him without hurting themselves; needs 24° supervision… -SQ

She Calls Everybody Baby

Dear S.Q. My brother’s dating in his late 60s and smitten by a real hottie 20 years his junior. She says she’s a widow of 5 years, but she must be making up for wasted time by flirting with everyone, young and old, male female. Babe this, sweetheart that, kisses on cheeks, hugs for anything. We’re a touchy family, but I’m exhausted watching her work a room. I think she’s working my brother too. 

Dear Bro, Time is the equalizer. Patterns and consistency will tell if she’s an equal opportunity lover, looking for a special someone, or looking for a mark. Find her history, someone who really knows her, -family, friends, social media posts and get her life story before your brother gives away his heart and life savings. Verify, then trust. -SQ

Who Are My Friends?

Dear Suze Q. I’m in my 60 and it seems I don’t know who my friends are anymore. My husband died several years ago, and now I’m dating. That seems to have divided people, those who support me to love again, and those that think I should die an old spinster. What gives?

Dear 60. You have changed the friendship dynamic.  Some only knew you as a couple. Perhaps you can cultivate an individual friendship with these people if you choose, or simply discard them. Those that want life to go forward for you after your spouse's death sound like keepers and more in tune with true friendship. Choose to walk with those that are happy for and with you. -SQ

From My Book (a snippet), After The Shower Scene

Another quirky scene from my to-be-released 2026 book: Cyber Frogs And Princes: A Sex Manual For On-Line Dating After 50, by Suze Q.

As we dried off from the shower, we laughed that our stomachs were rumbling after hours of stroking each other with occasional pauses of penetration and sucks. It was time to get dressed and eat a proper meal. The alluring scent of my strawberry shampoo mingled with the crème brûlée lubricant (made only by queen bees) that he palmed into my hands. This lover's dessert of royal jelly I painted on him and he rubbed inside of me. Inferior human food would have to wait. 

Check me out on www.cyberfrogsandprinces.com and on my Facebook page:

                        Cyber Frogs and Princes

Chhinnamasta

Dear Suze Q. I met a wild woman at a street fair who called herself China, though she clearly wasn’t Asian, but pale as an albino. She dressed in flowing robes and scarfs, dancing rather than walking. She saw me staring, we connected, and she took me home. This morning after more incredible sex, she wooshed me out the door with a breezy, “see you next time.” I asked my friend about China and she laughed -told me to be careful about going further. She wrote a note with the word Chhinnamasta and told me that was all I needed to know to make the right decision. What the hell’s going on? I feel like I fell down a rabbit hole.

Dear Rabbit, I believe you have been had. Chhinnamasta is the Hindu goddess of contradictions, strongly tied to sexuality, a Tantric deity. She represents death, and life; sexual energy and sexual self-control. Your girl, China, is an unknown. Proceed with eyes wide open. -SQ

Definitely Dangerous MIL*

Dear Readers. Blogger.com banned my post on Tuesday, February 24 because something tripped the censorship meter. I believe it was the four-letter acronym about fantasies some have for some mothers. Today’s blog speaks to the “danger” of this wild species again, but I’ll disguise it with a star.

Dear S.Q. Since our son was 12, he occasionally babysits for the next door couples’ baby. He’s now 15, and still sits for the widow. A neighbor saw my son kissing the MIL* in the backyard and thought I should know. MIL* is 17 years older and my son’s never even had a girlfriend! This needs to stop before it starts! My husband says he doesn’t care (but admits to a double standard that if it was a 15-y.o. daughter and older man, he’d kill the bastard!).

Dear Mom of a minor, Statuary rape laws are now gender neutral but were originally designed to protect young unmarried girls, -so your husband’s double standard has historical roots. Seek legal and psychological advice before acting. “Never even had a girlfriend” is not much of a criteria, but his mental maturity is. Will a sexual experience with the neighbor screw him up for life or give him an early appreciation of love and sex? -SQ