Orbiting

Dear Suze Q. I have this thing with a guy, off and on for a few years, but I feel more, and would like more, than he does. We come together for a few weeks and date like a real couple, then something interferes and we orbit for months, back to off and on. I've ask if our relationship is going anywhere solid, but he shrugs and says he doesn't know. 

Dear Orbiter, "I don't know" certainly doesn't mean yes, so what's left? No? Take the hint. His offer is either occasional hook-ups or nothing; time for you to choose since clearly he won't. -SQ

Sad And I Just Don't Care

Dear Suz, I've never been this sad, and this time it scares me, because I really don't care what happens. I lost my job and shortly afterwards my wife left. If it wasn't for the dog, I'd probably stay in bed for a week. I've stopped answering the phone, and told my few friends I'm going away so don't stop by. 

Dear Sad, You realize you are in serious trouble, otherwise, you wouldn't reach out. You’ve been in a dark place before, and know you need to let someone lead you back to safety. Right this minute, call that someone who will reel you in -a trusted friend who has the strength that you need, but do not have. Or a stranger who is an expert. In the US, call, text, chat, 24/7 with a LIFELINE COUNSELOR AT "988." -SQ

Super Empath v. Narcissist

Dear S. Q. I just listened to a 27’ podcast called “Why The Narcissist Can’t Recover After Betraying A Super Empath,” touted as the “best motivational speech” by the Gentle Hustle group that wanted me to join their 14.2M subscribers. This guy talked in circles, throwing in some common psych concepts (object constancy) in the same pot as far-flung, mumbo-jumbo including that the “super empath has a perception that borders on the supernatural.” I know narcissism is a real psychological classification, but is “super empath?”

Dear Skeptic, .5% - 6.2% of population is clinically diagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Super Empath is NOT a DSM diagnosis, has zero agreed upon psych/medical definition, but is liberally estimated to be 1-2% of the general population. So what are they talking about? Super empaths are said to possess heightened sense of empathy, far beyond the normal range, but other than that, there is little agreement. Narcissism is well documented and agreed upon; look it up. So, AT THE MOST, 4 people in 100, a few with a well-documented diagnosis, and the others with an unknown phenomenon, is an interesting, esoteric debate better left for party talk when high with good friends. -SQ

A Christian Woman Asks For Readers' Support

I am a Christian woman who gives my life to God and my husband as his sixth wife in a polygamous marriage. I need your readers' support to pass laws for all wives to have equal protection under law. It is wrong that I have no legal rights in the marriage (health benefits, tax deductions, family discounts), because God loves us all equally.

Dear Wife, I will print your request on my blog, but you want legal change; this blog is not a legal forum. Nor is it religious. The Establishment Clause of the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution is the guiding principle of "separation of church and state." You entered into, and accepted your "marriage" with your god, your husband, and his wives, knowing you had no legal standing. Why are you no longer accepting of your choices? -SQ  

Dating Like An Aventurer

Dear Suze Q. I love treasure hunts, but I was terrified of dating in my 60s. My bffs told me to imagine I’m at a swap meet or auction looking for the special gem that’s my forever partner. It’s working!

Dear Adventurer, The thrill of the hunt, the sly smile when you spot a nugget, the excitement wondering where it will fit in your life. Savor interviewing the candidates for your Prince(ss) Charming! -SQ

My Doctor Says…

Dear S.Q. My doctor says my stress levels are too high and I need to change my lifestyle. Where do I start other than get more exercise?

Dear Stressed, Have your MD create a personal action plan for you. Do your homework -the internet has a plethora of ideas. Take the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (on-line) for a baseline of your stressors from the prior year to assess your risk for the near future. (Ex: death of spouse = 100 points; divorce = 73. 300+ points = high risk of 🡻 health). -SQ

Matrix Hand Shake = Misogyny - ☠️ Warning

Dear Suze, I loved Louis Theroux’s Netflix, “Inside the Manosphere” documentary beginning with a 20-nothing-year-old “influencer,” who got fame from his work-out programs, and private-view sex acts.  His shock-and-awe height of disgust was when he said his mom would be upset, BUT if he had a gay son, he’d disown him. Several other young, putrid, rich male assholes hyped the “manosphere” (ultra-masculine world dominance) surrounded by worshipping, less-intelligent-than-them, beautiful-yet-childlike, submissive women selling-their-soul for the limelight. I love men, but not this breed.

Dear Disgusted. I urge others to watch this well-balanced, honest documentary and hope society self-corrects. All the men interviewed had a massively unstable childhood that shapes one’s personality. As men, they have an amazing lack of humanity and superficial bond to return to caveman thinking of old. Beware of poisonous ☠️ men displaying the triangle hand signal, called the “matrix.” -SQ