He Failed The Emotional Intelligence Test

Dear Suze, My 35-year-old brother can’t find a woman to meet his standards. He considers himself a “total package,” -good job, spiffy car, money in the bank. We’re military brats, with strong parental rules. Dad taught him that politeness and male superiority were intertwined. My bro is courteous in public while dismissing women’s opinions in private, including me and Mom. His ability to see things from our view, especially emotions, is utter failure. He sees his chauvinistic behavior as “common sense,” (which he believes women don’t have), or “protection” (of us fragile felines). 

Dear Sis, Your bro needs to rid his outdated gender role beliefs. Women are equals. Period. Full stop. They are independent and as capable as men. His first step in change is to recognize his medieval thinking. Direct him to a “Dutch uncle.” -SQ

He Gave At the Office

Dear SQ. My husband told me of his affair with his supervisor since the Christmas party. She gave him a blow job, -he says it was unexpected and he immediately told her “no,” but she continued. Now she calls him into her office and locks the door, makes him stay late and seduces him. He’s not innocent and our marriage needs a lifeline to survive, but I believe him and want her punished.  

Dear Wife, Good for your husband for confiding in you, and choosing to fight for the marriage and your trust. If all is true, sexual harassment by his supervisor is a serious and potential crime. Many complicated issues, all that have to be addressed, include: how to file a sexual harassment complaint, how to save your marriage, do both/either of you need individual counseling for the psychic trauma. For starters, you need two counselors, one a lawyer, the other a mental health professional. The process to regain a solid marriage can be long and scary. Hang tightly to each other. -SQ

The Director

Dear Suze, I’m flirting with a local guy, but we've not yet met. He’s a social director for a hospitality firm and has a great imagination for combining sex and role-playing. He wants us to go to local and international spots that cater to nudists. I assume he’s been there and knows what the rules are, what’s safe, and legal. My gfs are skeptical.

Dear Flirt, ASSUME NOTHING -including if he’s all show and no go, a con artist, and if he’s who he says he is. If he really is a social director, he creates fantasy worlds for others to indulge, but that doesn’t mean he’s done them himself. Run a background check before going anywhere that would risk your safety. Verify that he doesn’t have anxieties and insecurities that allow sex play with you on-line, and in his head, but never in reality in a bed. -SQ

So You’re Ready To Get Laid

Dear Suze, I’m back in the dating game in my late 50s, and a virgin since my divorce 10 years ago. I’ve had a dozen dates but couldn’t let myself go. I’m out of practice, feel old, look my age, ugh! 

Dear 50, What a splendid age to unleash that fun-loving, sexy dolly buried inside you. You’ve got a terrific goal in mind, but don’t put out needy vibes. Find another who needs to rip off the virgin bandaid, or already has, and is very obliging to remove yours -and all your clothes too. Stay in the moment though; the point is sex is a natural part of dating. If nothing follows, move on to the next guy. Start your Little Black Book of (not-so-fun) and Fabulous Fucks. -SQ

Until Somebody Better Comes Along

Dear Suze Q. I’ve dated Jim off and on for 3 years. We talk about getting married but we can’t even get excited enough to live together. We’ve thought about an open marriage so we can still see other people. We’re in our late 50s, have kids and grandkids and rich social lives. What now?

Dear 50, Why do anything now? It sounds like it’s working until one of you definitely wants something else. Why marry? - no biological clock is ticking to have kids; you’re not even committed to an exclusive relationship. Why open marriage? -since 90% ultimately fail; the concept is to spice up a marriage (that you don’t have). Is Jim just a place holder until somebody better sweeps you off your feet? Keep dating; you’re nowhere near ready to marry again. Your heart’s not into it. -SQ

Groin Sweat, All Ages, All Genders

Dear Suze, I’ve heard about jock itch, but Mom never taught us girls about sweating down there.

Dearie, Hyperhidrosis is the medical term for sweating between the legs not due to hot weather, hot sex,  or exercise that leaves rashes, itching, chafing, body odor... Causes include anxiety, stress, obesity; medications; or medical issues where you need to see your MD (diabetes, hormones). Home remedies include: loose fitting, breathable underwear; ⬆️ bathe/use vaginal wipes; trim public hair; limit spicy and foods that trigger a sweat response. (Save money, shower with a friend). -SQ

Queasy Stomach

Dear Suze, My mate eats anti-acid tablets by the droves. Is that healthy?

Dear Mate, It’s not healthy eating anything by the droves, except each other sexually. Even if the anti-acid tabs are under the prescribed amount, it’s only addressing the symptoms but not the source, so the problem remains untreated. Time for your mate to have a serious talk with the M.D. -SQ