Valentine Must or Bust

Dear Suze Q. My girlfriend of less than a year gave me an ultimatum last week to commit or go away. She wanted an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day, but I couldn't do it. We've got stuff to work out. I think we'll get there, but we need time to trust. I bought her a promise ring instead that I heard meant I was committed to the relationship without deciding to commit to marriage. She cried but I think I was right. How to fix this mess?

Dear True Heart, You're definitely on the right track. Work out the kinks you've identified and pop the engagement ring when, and only when, you are ready for a lifetime with this Valentine. -SQ

Valentine Lust or Bust

Dear S.Q. I'm wild about this hot, new woman and I wanted her to be a princess on Valentine's. Flowers, candy, swanky restaurant, the whole shebang. And I was rewarded princely with steamy sex. How can I keep this up without breaking the bank?

Dear Lucky Valentine, Keep the surprises coming, but keep them inexpensive. Otherwise, she'll get hooked on your bank account and not the true you. Ritzy dinners can be homemade with candlelight and rose petals. Soft lighting in the bedroom will add enticement to the dessert menu. -SQ 

Valentine's Day, 2026

Happy Valentine's Day, 2026, to all lovers and loners. Whether you sent or received steamy or vinegary Valentines, there is always tomorrow. Pucker up, the next person could be the one who provides you complete companionship, perks up your passion, and/or fills the niche in your life. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Remember Joan Crawford's famous words, "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." Take risks, life is short. -SQ

Whitman Sampler

Dear S.Q. Married for 37 years to the love of my life. That means at least 40 Valentines, some with diamonds, others with traditional flowers and candy. Whitman Sampler was the gold standard, but it's horrible! This year, I bought a cheap sampler as a joke. How did we ever like this stuff?

Dear Chocolateer, Whitman’s been around for almost 200 years, so some credit is due. Ranked good: economic, decent variety, okay balance between sweet and moist. Ranked yucky: waxy, artificial fillings, inconsistent taste. The top three countries for best chocolate remain, Switzerland, Belgium, and France although many individual companies are award-winners you should sample. -SQ

“Vinegar Valentine”

Dear Suze Q., I’m in a hateful mood. I’ve exclusively dated a guy for 7 months and bought him a really nice gift. I asked if he’d made dinner reservations because Valentine’s is Saturday night. He blurted out that he was seeing someone else and our relationship was over. No f*ucking warning! What can I do?

Dear Jilted. Post him a “Vinegar Valentine?” Instead of sweet romance, the big diss in the 1840’s Victorian era was a cheeky card decorated with an unflattering picture and insulting poem. Almost 200 years later, speech and insults are still legal in the U.S., though you might consider this too mean. Maybe send a dozen dead roses? Be creative. -SQ

Judge Judy Called…

Dear Suze Q. I think our daughter’s fiancé lied that he was on Judge Judy a few years ago after he bought a purebred Manx at a cat show for $1,000.00, sued the breeder and WON because they couldn’t produce proof of a pedigree with registration papers. The story was outrageous with free airfare, hotel, and tours of Los Angeles. How can I verify? 

Dear Skeptic, The Judge Judy entertainment show that ended in 2021 did not have the normal legal rights afforded in a U.S. court of law. Both litigants voluntarily agreed to waive their rights to any other legal proceeding, and the judge’s ruling was final in “binding arbitration.” It was a win-win for both parties because even if you lost, the show’s producers paid the litigant that won. Yes, both parties received an appearance fee for being on the show, airfare and hotel expenses. This was Hollywood remember. To verify your to-be-son-in-law’s claim, search YouTube episodes, or purchase options through Amazon or iTunes. Absolutely could be a true story, even if the cat’s lineage isn’t. -SQ

How To Know S(he) Is The One?

Dear Suze, I’m 70+, been married, divorced, glamorous, dowdy, lazy, ambitious. I’ve been everything and I still like myself. But auditioning for a new life partner wears me out. Can you narrow it down to a couple real things, instead of the zillion questions on dating questionnaires?

Dear 70+, Here are my 5 top questions to which you must say yes without hesitation. Do you feel good about yourself when you’re with him/her? Does s(he) add to your life in all the important ways (and you to theirs)? Are your differences healthily discussed and resolved without secrets? Are you uncomplicated friends? Is life definitely better with them? Add your own criteria. -SQ