Sleeping Together at Mom and Dad's

Dear Suze Q, Our 19-year-old daughter is bringing home her boyfriend du jour for  Thanksgiving weekend and wants to stay in the same bedroom!  My husband and I have never met this person and don't want to condone sleeping with our daughter before we've had a chance to even like him. We've decided they're welcome but must have separate bedrooms. Are we too old-fashioned?  

Dear Old-Fashioned, Your house, your rules. Welcoming your daughter's male friend into your house is one thing. Welcoming him, without knowing him, into your daughter's bed, under your roof, is quite a different welcome mat, and sends the signal that you condone sleeping with any guy she brings home. Show them their own rooms but don't expect much. Wear earplugs and sleep eye-masks, pretending in the morning nothing is amiss. -SQ

Veteran's Day, 2026

Dear Readers, A heartfelt Proclamation was spoken two years ago that is as powerful then as now. "Today, we honor generations of America's veterans -patriots who have stood on the frontlines of freedom and kept the light of liberty shining bright around the world. Just as they have kept the ultimate faith in our Nation, we must keep ultimate faith in them.

Each one of our Nation's veterans is a link in a chain of honor that stretches back to our founding days -bound by a sacred oath to support and defend the United States of America. Throughout history, whenever and wherever the forces of darkness have sought to extinguish the flame of freedom, America's veterans have been fighting to keep it burning bright... As a Nation, we have one truly sacred obligation: to prepare and equip those we send into harm's way and to care for them and their families when they return home... While our veterans are the steel spine of this Nation, their families are the courageous heart -they also serve and sacrifice so much for our country." Joseph R. Biden, Jr., 46th President of the United States of America."

On January 3, 2027, America will enter into the final internal war under the dictatorship of Trump. His targets are endless, and essentially include everyone not rich, white, and male. That includes me, and most likely, you. May our patriots, our veterans, and your gods bless America as she thrives despite Trump's failed assault on democracy and all those who wished her destruction. -SQ  

Warrior of God

 

Dear Suze Q. I have been divorced for many years and ready to date again. I work with a divorcee who I know would be a perfect match and we would be happy forever. I believe God has put her next to me for a reason and now it's on me to take the first step. I keep asking her to come to my church, but she says that's something she’s not interested in. I know God does not want me to give up on her. No relationship can last without Jesus. I need to explain to her that I care about her soul in a way that shows my sincerity and love. I'm so frustrated when she will not listen to reason. Thank you, Warrior of God

Dear WOG, Don’t overthink this.  Not interested means not interested.  Respect her words and boundaries. Keep your beliefs to yourself when someone tells you that your opinions are not welcome.  Move on to another battlefield. -SQ

Expired Drugs and COVID-19 Test Kits

Dear S.Q. I have expired drugs and COVID-19 tests. Seems a shame to throw them out unless they are truly useless. Suggestions?

Dearie, COVID-19 test kits can be used if the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has extended their expiration dates. Match the brand name, manufacturer, and lot # printed on your test kit box to the FDA  At-Home OTC COVID-19 Diagnostic Tests List to see if your test's shelf life has been extended.

But, if your test is not on the list, then it is expired, expired, expired and most likely not reliable. However, if you use the dead test kit, and it shows positive and you have symptoms, you probably do have COVID and should hustle to the doctor. If the outdated test shows negative, don't count of it, -the chances are it's an unreliable test. Take two outdated tests if you want, but remember, 👉 one positive test and symptoms is probably true; any outdated negative test is not necessarily true. 

Taking expired drugs are a different concern. They may kill you, especially if liquid (because of bacteria). The FDA Guidelines on Drug Disposal has 3 ways to dispose: 1) Take-Back Programs (drop boxes; and April and October DEA hosted programs. 2) Household Trash (scratch out personal info on the bottles). 3) FDA Flush List -check here before flushing meds into water systems. 

Drugs and test kits are like fireworks. They're only great when they do what they're supposed to do. Otherwise, they can be duds or dangerous. -SQ 

ESP, Extra Sensory Perception

Dear S.Q, My partner has an uncanny ability to correctly predict certain things. She says she actually sees numbers and that it’s not an educated guess. Unfortunately, it’s nothing we can make money from. She calls it “prescience” which I don’t understand. 

Dear Partner, Prescience, precognition, ESP, is the knowledge of events before they happen. Evidence supports this woo-woo pseudoscience through firsthand observations and experiments. But, ZERO have stood rigorous scientific testing -or so they want us to believe. Serious gamblers and statisticians will tell you luck is not real, while scientists and Sherlock Holmes have quoted, “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

Consider my personal favorite, ❤️ SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING. Movies and TV ran subliminal advertisements to “drink Coke,” buy candy, popcorn, for years before it was banned in the U.S. in 1958 as deceptive and illegal. The ads were quick flashes of text, hidden images, or soft audio cues below the threshold of conscious awareness. So while you didn’t notice the ads, you acted on them. 

The human brain receives about 11M bits of data per second, but only about 50 bits are consciously processed and stored for future use. Imagine: man is aware of less than a millionth of 1% of what the brain receives. It’s like AI has instant access to the “noosphere” that holds everything known to man, but humans only have the key to the waiting room. Consequently, artificial intelligence is beating the pants off humans. 

What if: Instead of waiting for AI to eliminate mankind, scientists use AI technology to stimulate the parts of human brains that unlock that unused 99%? Then humans eliminate those threatening our Alpha Predator status. And I, Mankind can tout, “Yes, Robot, YOU are no longer necessary.” -SQ

INTJ Loves ENFJ, Will It Work?

Dear SQ, Reading dating experiences are like being on Mars. Nothing makes sense and some stories are downright ridiculous, like the chat link about why INTJs and ENFJs don’t connect. Help!

Dear Martian, During WWII, Katherine Briggs and her daughter cooked up the first set of The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator questions designed for women to understand themselves, be happier, and better first-time workers. A 100-question self-report scores people on 4 scales, (extroversion/introversion, E/I; sensing/intuition, S/N; thinking/feeling, T/F; and judging/perceiving, J/P). In psychology, we don't use this questionnaire as the reliability and validity are shit, but mainly because people inaccurately believe the results predict something rather than just simply describe 16 personality types. (It's traditionally used in work settings for team building).

But, it provides 100 things about another person without grilling them. And, it might be more accurate as a matchmaking tool than “What’s your horoscope?”

I offer you an alternative: OCEAN or the Big Five personality model. O-openness; C-conscientiousness; E-extroversion; A-agreeableness; and N-neuroticism. It’s considered the gold standard in academic psychology, takes 10 minutes to complete, and is available free online. For greater detail, check out my book: Cyber Frogs And Princes: A Sex Manual Of On-Line Dating After 50 by Suze Q available on Amazon KDP, Google Books, and Walmart. (Chapter: What You Should Know About: The Core of a Man). Happy swimming. -SQ

Hobosexual

Dear Suze Q, “Hobosexual,” how accurate! I dated a guy for 22 months and couldn’t understand what was wrong. I'm in my 60s and consider myself well-educated and worldly. He moved in with me because his place was sparse, -only a few of anything, toilet paper, furniture, food. He always seemed to be working but short on money that was someone else's fault. Our instant connection and great sex blinded me from noticing I was paying 90%, and when we'd argue, he'd pull the "rotten childhood" victim card and somehow I ended up apologizing. I finally understood his game when he asked me to put him in my will to continue living in my house if I died first! 

Dear Gas-lit, There are many terms for these despicable human beings: gold digger, social predator, con artist, freeloader. The common thread is they TAKE advantage until you’re doing all the relationship work: banker, caregiver, housekeeper. Glad you kicked him out before he ruined your spirit or put arsenic in your morning oatmeal. -SQ