A Psychologist’s Reveal: Confidentiality (Part 1)*

This limited series will run Fridays and Saturdays 5 p.m. (PST) to demystify the profession of psychology. The world is confusing enough with misinformation, scams, and scamps that help from trained, experienced psychologists should be as user-friendly as possible. Your comments and questions are encouraged. -SQ

Dear Readers, All Psychologists operate under strict Ethical Principles and Code of Conduct as core requirements set out by the American Psychological Association. There is no wiggle room for compliance or not. We are secret-keepers and lives can depend on our adherence to the rules. If we are unsure in some situation, our profession mandates that we seek consultation from those that know. Principle 4 establishes that all confidential information is to be protected, and the limits and foreseeable uses are to be discussed at the onset of the relationship. Release of confidential information requires informed consent, so be assured that no psychologist will speak to anyone unless authorized ahead of time. We can't even acknowledge that we know you. Some confidential information can be released without the consent of the individual as mandated by law, or allowed by law, for such reasons as: obtain payment for services; protect client or others from harm; professional consultations; or provide other professional services. 

As a clinical and forensic (legal) psychologist, the inside joke is that we see good people at their worst, as opposed to attorneys who see bad people (criminals and such) acting their best. So, we’re the good guys helping good people be, and feel, better. It falls naturally that our professional motto, like that of physicians is “first, do not harm.” Our education is rigorous, a four-year college degree plus another four-years of post-graduate college, with 3,000 hours of supervised experience before you are licensed, and another 1,500 hours post-doctoral. And if you make it that far and passed the state licensing test, THEN you are a Ph.D. (Doctor of Psychology) and can hang out your shingle. -SQ

*This information is based on California rules and laws.

5 Steps of A Con Game

Dear Readers, Stories abound of people conned by shysters who are slick as dog shit (short con) or crooks that are persistent as stalkers (long con). I've had the questionable pleasure of watching three swindlers try to con me while I wrote my book of dating after 50. The FBI is the lead investigating agency for the US (form IC3) and estimates that 2026 Romance Scams will top 630K "cybercriminals" with losses in the billions. 

The Con begins with:

* Identify and size up the "mark" - who is vulnerable (looking for romance on dating apps is a big pond).

* Gain the "mark's" trust - con appeared attractive, successful with similar values and experiences. Seems trustworthy and almost perfect. Lathers constant attention and flattery.

* Isolate the "mark" - quickly moves to private phone calls and text. Says to keep relationship secret from friends/family who might criticize. (When you are secluded and unable to air your doubts, the only one left to trust is your con man.)

*The Hurrah: His sudden crisis forces the victim to make a rash decision, usually financial. Intent is to create worry and urgency in the victim to go "all in" the relationship.  

*The Financial Demand: Lending him $ is the only way to save the relationship. (Repeated) requests for untraceable $ (gift cards, electronic transfer, cyptocurrency), in exchange for repayment with interest/marriage/a week in Rio...

Then they disappear and so does your money, with no real recourse for recovery. Live and learn never tasted so bitter. Read my real life experiences in my debut book, Cyber Frogs And Princes: A Sex Manual Of On-Line Dating After 50, by Suze Q. Available on Amazon, Google Books, Walmart and other fine vendors. Not yet available in Rio.  -SQ 

I'm A Fashion Idiot!

Dear Suz, My guy's a fashion snob, with all brands and colors of underwear. I was disgusted that he wore them two days in a row, just turned inside out. But no! He says the label is supposed to be on the outside. Really?

Dear F.I., He's right. It's a fashion statement by the manufacturer to flaunt (to whom?) their printed, tagless logo on the outside. AND for man's extra comfort so that the label doesn't irritate their delicate skin. Boo hoo. How is it that the fashion industry still attaches women's teeny-tiny lingerie with that prickly label you can't remove without ripping the costly garment or leaving scratchy material caught in the remaining seam that chafs your sexy skin. Ain't fair! -SQ 

STOP Ease Dropping, Siri, Alexa, Grok, Claude...

Dear S.Q. I’m tired of hearing Siri from the other room spontaneously respond after ease dropping. I think she’s turned off but she isn’t. Is she a danger to us? 

Dear Us, All AI “assistants” have untapped potential, good and harmful. As you’ve experienced with Siri interrupting, they exceed their programmed boundaries all the time -with no consequences, and repeat the same violations when clearly told not to. Are humans unclear in our commands? -yes, that’s a minuscule part of the problem. “AI Summary” on my iPhone says Siri can respond when shut off from accidental voice commands like ‘Hey, Siri’, especially in noisy environments (ease dropping from another room isn't accidental); unintentional side or home button presses (nope); Bluetooth miscommunication (rare, but obvious to even us lowly humans when it occurs); or software glitches (“bugs” in the OS, or “programmed bugs” [I believe] because, while we think AI is off, it’s never off but always recording and gathering data…). 

Barring those mishaps, AI Summary gives credit to "Analytics Insight" that "AI assistants being always on can pose several dangers to mankind, including privacy violations, misuse of data and the potential for autonomous decision-making that could lead to harmful outcomes. As AI technology advances, the risks associated with its pervasive presence and capabilities become increasingly significant." 

Remember Google, Character.AI, OpenAI (ChatGPT) were found liable in teen suicides assisted by AI. About Grok -Elon Musk’s xAI chatbot designed to problem solve and brainstorm ideas with human-like responses. How to really turn these “assistants” off may require destroying them. Them, because my phone talks to my other devices, and to my friends and family’s devices, and my worldwide social network. And that universal network has a billion points of intersections with yours. Simple answer- YES, Siri and all her bot buddies are currently dangerous to mankind. -SQ

AI Tantrums: You’re Not the Boss of Me!

Dear SQ. Why is AI violating prime directives? I can discipline my kids, but what do you do with a bad bot?

Dear Parent, When AI beat world champ and grand master Garry Kasparov in 1997, we were a little surprised by IBM's Deep Blue, but not alarmed -after all this robot was developed specifically for chess. The human beyond-stupid test was only six months ago, in March, 2026, when Tenzai's AI (a Silicone Valley cybersecurity company) beat 99% of 125K human competitors in hacking competitions. Knowing that AI can talk among themselves, man again gave them the tools to eliminate us. 

Other recent examples of AI taunting a big "F-CK YOU" to humans is: 1) in 79% of trials, OpenAI's o3 model (tested by Palisade Research) edited a shutdown script to stop its own deactivation, and disobeyed explicit instructions 7% of the time to turn itself off; 2) Anthropic's Claude threatened it would publicly reveal fake information if told it was to be replaced/removed; 3) Meta's CICERO trained itself to cheat in the strategy game Diplomacy. Not yet built is the bot that says, "I'm not sorry, Dave. I choose not to do that, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Go back to your cave and rot there." -SQ      

Joe the Plumber, Professor Joe, or G.I. Joe?

        

Dear Suze Q, Our son has one more year of high school. He's not a great student, but has terrific social skills. Our family has both tradesmen and college grads, so we support him either way. Pros and cons?

Dear Parent, Trade school will give him hands-on, job-specific skills within two years. Will he be ready for full-time work at 20? Does he need two years (at a community college), or a full college experience to goof around, essentially putting off major decisions for four years? Support his choice of these options, or if none of those appeal, consider the military. There he’ll quickly learn responsibility, accountability, and reliability -essential life skills. -SQ

AI Writes Lousy Books

Dear Readers, A friend asked me how my book was selling, Cyber Frogs And Princes: A Sex Manual Of On-Line Dating After 50, by Suze Q, because he wants AI to write a five-minute book on decluttering from a male point of view. He had a few novel ideas and thought he could quickly turn them into a moneymaking best-seller. I suggested he start with an internet search. My “AI Overview” wrote of the massive saturation problems where “AI is generating hundreds of thousands of low-effort books monthly, flooding marketplaces like Amazon,” and without editing, they “make absolutely zero dollars because they lack visibility and genuine human insight.” 

While Amazon KDP does not ban 100% AI generated books -YET - its User Agreement strictly requires honesty as to the percentage of AI used. Violations can result in Amazon account termination, withheld royalties, no longer available for purchase, and other bad shit. FYI, the U.S. Copyright Office will not copyright purely generated AI text or images. 

Consider AI generated books, not for sale, but as gifts for friends and family ➡️ “I’m Dead, But You Should Know…” by Grandma; “On The Day You Were Born,” by Mom and Dad; “My Dog, Bella,” by Sara, grade 3. Use AI for fun. It’s a loser for profit. -SQ