Threat (from Others)

Dear Suze Q. I've dated some very threatening men who were like my father and ex-husband. I can't seem to recognize the pattern until I'm knee-deep. What are some warning signs. 

Dear Entangled, As this exposure started in your nuclear family and continues into your adulthood, you are way overdue for professional help to become emotionally healthy and perhaps save your life. A few questions to ask yourself that are by no means thorough: does this person have a history of violence, threats of violence, instability, psychiatric history, substance abuse (alleged or actual); have you been threatened directly or indirectly (shows intent); does the perpetrator have means (intentional use of force that causes fear or harm); and access (to weapons).  Answering "yes," to any of these questions is your alert: 911 for immediate, in-person assistance; call or text 988 for National (Suicide and) Crisis Hotline; and text HOME to 741741 for Crisis Text Line. Don't wait, every minute saves a life, and it could be yours. -SQ   

Threat (Danger to Self)

Dear S.Q. I can't shake the loss of my wife. People tell me to snap out of it. She's been gone 4 years but everyday I feel raw. Sometimes, I can't eat, or sleep, and don't bother to get out of bed. My sister wants me to see her shrink, but I don't see the point. What's the down-side to ending it all.

Dear Raw. The downside is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You will end your pain but also any chance to live and be happy again. After thousands of years of scholarly study, many cultures, religions, and laws prohibit taking your own life. Understand why. Try professional assistance rather than a drastic and final end. Emergency help is always available: 911 provides in-person assistance; (call or text) 988 for a National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline; and text HOME to 741741 for a Crisis Text Line. All of these phone services will hook you up to immediate live services. -SQ    

She Silenced Her Cell Phone

Dear S.Q. When I text my gf, it often pops up that she’s silenced her phone. Is she trying to tell me to go away forever?

Dear Silenced, Best to ask her than jump to conclusions. Most likely, she’s politely informing others that she can’t respond immediately for innocent reasons like she’s driving, getting dressed, working. Neediness and anxiety can kill a relationship, so relax and think positively. -SQ

Dressing For Summer Dating

Dear Suze Q. This past weekend was perfect summer weather and I wore thigh-high shorts to a fabulous Gay Parade with a new date. Boy was he awed! I knew our cultural and religious differences were a problem but now I wonder how much. He said I looked nice but dressed a bit "skimpy" for my age (55!), and did "the gays" really have to be almost nude and kiss each other in public? June 14 is another NO KINGS DAY rally. Should I go without him?

Dear Parade Lover, Discuss if he's ever been and what he expects from the rally? These events are good tests of compatibility and the parade was a near failure. He judged your choices of clothing and a fun outing as unacceptable, as well as PDA. Do you consider these two strikes, or three?  -SQ

Gay Pride

Suze Q and Californians celebrated Gay Pride 2026 weekend events from rainbow 🌈 drag shows, vendors, and street fairs.  Events began May 22, honoring Harvey Milk Day, the first openly gay politician elected to public office -a trailblazer for LGBTQ rights and the U.S.’s first gay rights ordinance. The city of West Hollywood (WeHo) always shows a flaming good time! -SQ

  

Scent

Dear Suze, My companion sniffs my hair and neck when he kisses me. Is it creepy? 

Dear Fragrant, Watch the movie, Scent of a Woman, and you’ll be entranced with what laser focus on one scent can do. Hair, lips, tits, Pacino says... Ecstasy for the mind, sexual arousal for the chemical connection. It’s only creepy if he’s a creep. Otherwise, breathing in your hair and skin is a gateway to nirvana. -SQ

Tesla

Tesla's hometown is Los Angeles, same as Suze Q's. And like Tesla's co-founder, Elon Musk, many Tesla owners think their shit doesn't stink. In Cyber Frogs And Princes: A Sex Manual Of On-Line Dating After 50 by Suze Q (available on Amazon) Chapter 38: Carter -is about one such narcissist-like man. Though he was an engineer and book-smart, he was a frog (more like a toad, really) -never to be a Prince Charming.  -SQ