NomiAI companion

Dear Suze Q. My sister is moving out of state to college and she’s worried she won’t make friends because she’s so shy. Some assure her she’ll be fine, others suggest a journal, watch movies, text often. I was thinking of giving her a 4-month subscription to Nomi.ai (about $65) so she could have fun creating and having a A.I. friend. Is this stupid?

Dear Bro, What a terrific novel idea! There are several apps and companies dabbling in this new field, some specializing in areas like emotional support. Read reviews so you get a feel for the range of options and the hidden problems. NomiAI has a free version on Google Play your sis should try (as do other companies) before buying. Maybe do this free trial as a brother-sister project together before she leaves, so the AI will become an ongoing bond and topic the two of you can always talk about, and troubleshoot as needed. -SQ

Manners v Etiquette

Dear Readers, You want that extra edge in life so let’s get etiquette-educated. A common question is what’s the difference between manners and etiquette? Answer: Slight, but critical. Like between coal and a diamond. Etiquette is ingrained in a person’s personality, it is a way of living. Manners are tools you pull out as needed and guide everyday actions, eat with your mouth closed. Etiquette is a step above, it adds finesse -the specific rules for specific situations (knowing which utensil to use in a formal dinner setting; dances well, at least basic moves; listen with interest, full attention and eye contact. Overall, etiquette's goals are to make others feel valued and respected (from the waitstaff to the CEO), is honest, and keeps confidences. 

Above all, do no harm. For further info, the internet has great articles for what is a gentleman or gentlewoman. I highly recommend reading, or giving to a favorite person, Ethan Hawke's small but powerful book, Rules For A Knight. -SQ

What Is A Gentleman?

Dear All, There’s always lots of questions and confusion about the traits of a modern gentleman. Some of my favorites truths are: A gentleman -

1) always carries cash (think Woody Harrelson)

2) always goes out of his way to show chivalry is alive. Good manners, good morals, holds himself to a higher standard (think Knights Templar)

3) charismatic blend of traditional values, morals, and manners with contemporary norms (JFK and Bono)

4) doesn’t gossip, always discreet (a confidant)

5) insatiable thirst for knowledge, and contribution to the greater good (Socrates)

6) kindness of heart, realist about other’s hearts (Tom Hanks, Matt McConaughey)

7) confidence without arrogance (Bill Gates. NOT Elon Musk)

8) knows when to hold them, when to fold them, when to walk away, and when to fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke (sorry, personal motto - FEITCTAJ). -SQ

What are your ideal traits for the high standards required to be deemed a gentle person? 

Narcissist or Something Else?

Dear S.Q. I’m tired of idiots calling others narcissist. What’s the accurate term for self-centered assholes?

Dear Tired, Pick something and you’ll find it exists within a range. Red? (On a spectrum) from orange-red to red-violet. Happy? From slight smile to wet-your-pants side-splitter. 

Relationships? survive on 1) balance of give-and-take, AND 2) empathy. On one extreme, someone only gives, and exists on the emotions of others, never developing their own personality -they are called fragile or over-givers. To the other extreme, where someone only takes, and cannot, or will not, feel how others feel - they are called self- centered. 

Self-centered? This category of self-centered people has a very narrow band-width; these are people who only respond when, "it benefits me" or "it's about me." On one extreme are the takers who won’t get in synch with other’s feelings -they are called assholes. On the other extreme are those that ALWAYS take and are INCAPABLE of feeling how others feel -this is the Narcissist. Note: Narcissistic Personality Disorder worldwide is around 1-5%. In true form, a rare, almost mythical entity in the general population, but who thrives in abundance in environments that worship their charisma and inflated accomplishments, like politics, entertainment, sales and marketing, corporate management, and scam artist. -S.Q, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist

Hic Sunt Dracones (Here Be Dragons)

Dear Readers, While writing my book about dating after 50, the topic of sex often came up. To go all the way, so to speak, or just go for companionship. So naturally, elder sex lead to discussions of sex toys, which lead to remote-controlled sex toys for couples while apart, and then the big taboo -sexbots. Now there's a million dollar industry no one talks about. "Sexy.ai was the first, or at least one of the first on-line AI porn generators that as of 2023, allowed paying members ($10 per month) to create a customized AI sexbots that feature in 10 different actions or scenes... Customized bots, wow, an improved version of those days-gone-by crude, plastic life-size, blow-up boy-toys or darling doxies... What can possibly go wrong? Ask the dragons, for they are the keeper of secrets." (page 421). -SQ

Enjoy more startling facts and fiction in Cyber Frogs And Princes: A Sex Manual Of On-Line Dating After 50 by Suze Q on Amazon.

 

 

Predicting the Future

Dear Suze Q, I love my fiancé but he micro-cheats. Not sex, but touching and flirting, in front of me and when I’m not around (according to my friends). We met at work when he was unhappily married. He divorced her for me. My friends say he’ll leave me for someone else, but I’m hopeful it’s not true. 

Dear Dismissive Fiancée, The best indicator of future behavior is… All together now. Repeat with me and Zoltar… “The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.” -SQ  

Marriage Before You’re Ready

Dear Suze, I’ve been seeing a guy off and on forever. We even lived together for a year before he took a job out of state and didn’t ask me to come along. I was devastated and vowed to be done with him. But, we keep coming back together until something goes wrong. Should I just marry him and make it work?

Dear YoYo, Marrying is a world class stupid idea. After years together, you don’t even know what makes your relationship work or prevent it from repeatedly collapsing, so how could marriage help?  Successful relationships, whether romantic, business, or anything else, requires hard work and neither of you has done squat. -SQ