Dear S.Q. My fiancée knows how close I am to my mother. I was young when my dad died and Mom was always my cheerleader, advisor, and confidant. My big decisions have always included her, and frankly, I get nervous without her presence. She approves of my future wife who’s worried if she has to compete with Mom. I’m aware I’m kind of a mamma’s boy, but I don’t want a threesome in my marriage.
Dear MB. The whole point of marriage is to leave your family of origin and create a new one with your chosen partner. The top person in your life needs to shift from Mom to your wife. To determine if you have a big problem, ask yourself: who’s the beneficiary on your life insurance policy; who would you call first if in trouble or sharing great news? If you REALLY want to change, half the war is won. Get help and learn to set boundaries. Realize your marriage survival depends on it being healthy, which in turn depends if your mom helps you to be independent from her or pulls you tighter to her bosom. Decide now if you’re willing to kick your mental addiction to Mom before dooming your wife to a marriage likely to fail. -SQ
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