Dear Suz, my new partner is a keeper but I’m stumped about a growing problem. Our finances are equal, we’ll live comfortably for our remaining dozen+ years. We alternate paying dinner out, but he eats twice what I do and has a drink or two that bumps up the bill $50/week. Normally, I can’t afford to eat out this often but it’s always been his way of life. Should I discuss this or is it petty?
Dear Stumped, if you want to make a change, or it just bothers you, then talk after thinking through your arguments and solutions. Like any good negotiator, don’t ask a question you don’t know the answer to. Think deeply how this issue will be received and if it’s worth upsetting him. Consider ways other than money to equalize your relationship, like ask him to do odd jobs that you’d otherwise have to pay a handyman for; you keep the leftovers; or he drives so you save gas and wear/tear on your car. Be creative and generous. Only you can answer if this is more petty than it’s worth. -SQ
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