Good and Bad Humors

Dear Suz, My brother is dating a woman that my wife and I find annoying. She always prickly, irritated, like your existence is an inconvenience. She can be flat out rude and acts like she’s got a thorn in her shoe. My brother agrees that she’s always like this but that she’s not that bad. My wife insists we decline all future invitations. 

Dear Tolerant, Go or don't go but know this -she probably won’t change. Temperament is biologically based behavioral differences that is part of your personality. There are 4 temperament types that are considered fairly fixed by genetics, that is, what you are as a kid is likely what you’ll be as an adult. Father of ancient medicine, Hippocrates, described the 4 temperaments as part of the concept of humorism- where “humors,” bodily fluids, affect one’s personality traits and behaviors: 1) Sanguine: blood (social, optimistic, impulsive); 2) Phlegmatic: phlegm (easygoing to the point of avoiding conflict at all cost, boring); 3) Choleric: yellow bile (practical, stubborn); and 4) Melancholic: black bile (moody, anxious). -SQ