Dear SQ, We’re going through a rough patch in our 20+ year marriage. She says I don’t listen. She’s right and until now I didn’t care much until a work review said this area “needs improvement.” I’m impatient and used to complete other’s sentences because I knew what they were going to say.
Dear Impatient. You don’t know what others are going to say unless you’re a mind reader, so back to basics. Talking is a one-way action, communicating is two, a loop. One talks ➡️ one listens; the second person talks, ➡️ and the first one listens. You take turns. Active listening means: 1) you hear every word, without reacting, interrupting, or rehearsing your reply; 2) you understand their nonverbal, emotional messages; 3) you respond nonverbally while they talk (eye contact, nod, smile), ask meaningful questions showing your recall, then respond with your own input. Repeat as needed. -SQ
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