Dear Suze Q. I’ve been happily married forever with kids and grandkids. My wife’s arthritis has worsened in the last years from can’t open jars to turn doorknobs. I’m overtaxed with doing most things she used to do. She’s quieter and withdrawing.
Dear Overtaxed. Time for a “life adjustment” plan. Lots more changes on the way. Get ready for a bumpy ride. Join arthritis groups/subscribe to newsletter/read-find out what to expect. Delegate duties-hire a housecleaner, gardener. Make a list WITH your wife of what she physically can’t v. don’t wanna do. “Can’t” is real, “won’t” may be mild depression (a different kind of real that often gets worse without help from a MD/therapist). -SQ
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