Dear Suze, I come from a family where everything was open for discussion and lively debates were common. My partner’s upbringing was children were seen but not heard. The differences have seeped into our arguments where he clams up except to agree with me, making me feel like a bully.
Dear debater, There are two major personalities who avoid arguments, -those who are protecting themselves, and those protecting something else (like secrets, or accountability). Given your partner’s background, it’s likely he never learned the beauty of debate, or how to fight fair - so he avoids what he predicts will cause him harm or drama. Time to read together Rules for Fair Fighting after telling him that you need his help in solving problems. Can he see things from your point of view? If he can’t do this critical skill, your relationship may be DOA. -SQ
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