Dear Suze, I live with a guy who gives nonsensical reasons when we disagree or I start asking questions about unusual client meetings. He claims his abusive childhood makes him afraid to argue, and that stops any further conversation. Counseling hasn’t helped. I followed him yesterday drive the opposite direction of his appointment, towards his female partner. I know his email passcodes because our original pledge was no secrets and always mutual open access.
Dearie, You know his passcodes, so review his texts, emails, duration and dates of phone calls made/received, and his business calendar. Any red flags (call/text when he’s supposedly sleeping or with you), needs to be discussed. If he won’t talk, inform him your relationship is on the line. Then make the hard choice. Leave, or live with a man keeping secrets, -or worse a secret life. -SQ
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