Dear S.Q. My wife of decades wants a divorce. The kids are grown and we have mostly independent activities. She moved out but we keep ending up together a few nights a week. What are we doing?
Dear Doing. You’re processing grief in order to move on. You’re both sending and receiving mixed messages and that’s okay as long as no one gets more hurt. Reasons are too many to name and unique to each couple. Examples are: share your pain; clarity if divorce is really the best option; comfortable sex; the leavor relieving guilt for wanting the divorce v. the leavee convincing themselves they’re not unlovable since the partner still wants sex with them. What you’re doing is common, with some polls indicating 30% of couples are intimate during the divorce process. Letting go and moving on is hard work but necessary to wellness. -SQ
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