An Affair To Forget

Dear Suze Q. My wife “wanted to be honest” about a one-time affair with an old love. And I mean old. We’re in our 60s and I thought our sex life was good. She wants our marriage to survive. I’m crushed. 

Dear Crushed, if you’re ambivalent, consider the following about staying or leaving: 1) Is her affair really over? If yes, then all her life is open for you at all times and forever -phone, diary, bills… 2) Talk about what happened, why, how to improve your marriage, 3) She must accept 100% blame for the affair, and allow you reasonable reactions including sadness, anger. Trust must be earned and rebuilt in baby steps. Infidelity makes other issues erupt, and many marriages don’t survive. To give your marriage its best shot, consider counseling. -SQ