Dear Suze Q. I've dated several great gals from dating sites, but I've stopped myself from going further for no reason. Should I dump the dating apps? What am I doing wrong?
Dear Doing Wrong. Dating Apps are not the problem. A 2022 Pew Research Center study concluded that 44% of dating site users were looking for long-term partners, and 40% joined just to date casually. Which group are you? Before you can find a partner, you need to know yourself which I suspect is the problem. Time to look inward. Try this exercise: (1) Only answer totally honestly or leave blank; (2) Make a list of hard-core, non-negotiable "deal-breakers," like drugs, hates dogs/cats, religious differences. NEVER date these people; (3) Make a list of "likes" and "not happy abouts" (add to it as you meet and eliminate new people); (4) Was there any "magic" with your date? Yes, or no, don't overthink it. It may grow if there was a spark. If nada, move on. (5) Read and educate yourself about self improvement: be a better listener, an interesting talker, "in the moment" not distracted, better eye contact, better hygiene, calm not anxious, caring not self-absorbed... -SQ
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