June 6, 1944 Operation Neptune (D-Day)

Dear Readers, Imagine Normandy, France, 81 years ago today, shortly after midnight. By land, sea, and air the 156,115 troops of the Allied Forces of WWII liberate France and the rest of Western Europe in the largest amphibious assault in history. 4,413 Allied troops were killed, but reliable records of German fatalities are unknown (est. 4-9,000). This battle was pivotal in securing the defeat of Hitler (who committed suicide) and Nazi Germany on September 2, 1946, six years and one-day after the German invasion of Poland. All told, 60-80 million people died in WWII, 3% of the world’s population, including a devastating 6 million Jews. 

Why a world war? Historians have drawn some conclusions. When WWI ended in 1918, countries for both the victorious Allied and losing Central Powers (including Germany) were left with devastated economies and infrastructures. Hitler and the Nazi Party overtook Germany’s political party in 1933 during the worldwide Great Depression. Many had lost faith in democracy and turned to authoritarian regimes to right the world. A perfect storm for Hitler’s “Unification of all Germans” as an Aryan master race, superior over all others he considered “subhumans.” By 1939, Hitler was recognized as a threat to peace on earth. By 1940, the world united as one to put this dog down. 

It took two world wars until the United Nations was formed, an intergovernmental organization with the purpose of maintaining international peace and security. The US is a charter member and one of five permanent members of the Security Council. Although many believe the UN needs an internal overhaul in order to combat current threats and promote world harmony, this organization is as good as we’ve got right now. 

NATO was formed in 1949 because a “Cold War” again threatened world peace. Article 5 commits that an attack on one member nation “…in Europe or North America shall be considered an attack against them all…” The UN, NATO, and democracy, need to be protected and cherished if another world war is to be diverted. Today, the world is unstable with several malevolent leaders one finger-touch away from nuclear codes, the USA included. Celebrate D-Day -that our fragile world peace is still holding. -SQ

Date Rape Drug Test

Dear Suze Q. I enjoy Girls Night Out often. My friend got sick last time and we had to drag her home after just one drink. She swears her drink was drugged that scared the crap out of all of us. Precautions?

Dear Cautious, As of July, 2024, California bars serving alcohol must sell or offer customers test strips to assure their drinks haven’t been spiked with date rape drugs, and to display signs that read, “Don’t get roofied! Drink spiking drug test kits available here. Ask a staff member for details.” Washington state is proposing a similar bill that, if passed, will follow California’s lead beginning January 2026. Better yet, -inexpensive, date rape test kits are available through several companies including Amazon. Carry these little strips with you and discreetly read your own results in just a few minutes. -SQ

Guy Girdles

Dear SQ, I’m freaked out! My brother wants to buy a male girdle for fashion. There are THOUSANDS advertised as “elastic compression technology” to flatten and contour problem areas. Some go from above the knee to under the pecs! Why? For women, it was to emphasize curves, for men it’s “the carve.” The “shapeware is invisible under clothes” - duh! But what happens when you caress a guy and feel “the four steel bones” in his compression boxers to lift his butt, or the three adjustable hooks on his belly control panel? Ewww. This is disturbing.

Dear Sis, Disturbing maybe your initial opinion but do some research. Girdles, mirdles, corsets, shapeware, body shapers are the latest trend for guys who have too much of everything. Remember, women started girdles in the 1920s as an improvement to replace those painful corsets. People didn’t touch another’s body then, unless married (generally) so women looked fabulously feminine, suffered silently, and the male libido raged innocently on. Then we burned our bras and hid our fat in spandex beginning in the 1980s when public display of affection became common and we teased our paramours to feel skin. We’re done paining ourselves to look good for others, but I guess men will have to decide this for themselves. What does your brother think of HeHeels and other male trends? -SQ

Ex-Parenting Woes

Dear Suze Q., I’m dating when my ex has the kids (10, 12). I complain he returns them so exhausted they fall asleep at Sunday dinner and don’t wake up until it’s time for school. He tells me to stop controlling his parenting time. I know he’s punishing me through them. Shall I tell my attorney?

Dear Mom. This situation happens more often than you’d think, but it’s subtle and hard to prove. Decide what you want your attorney to negotiation- (1) kids to be returned to you earlier on Sunday? (2) let dad deal with the problem he’s created by driving them to school Monday morning? (That way he’ll either become a better parent and get them the sleep they need, or the teachers can deal with his parenting). Don’t be too upset if nothing solves this problem -soldier on to the next parenting conflict. Effective single parenting is a career, not a job. -SQ

Edging

Dear Suze, Sex with my new guy is mind-blowing. He goes down on me immediately until I orgasm. But he won’t come until I have a second time. He gets me close, then I lose and gain the edge of my climax over and over until I explode. By then, I’m begging him to come so I can close my legs and calm my heart. I think I’m addicted. 

Dear Happy, This technique is called edging or gooning where a high level of sexual arousal is maintained for an extended period but the orgasm is repeatedly delayed. When the controlled orgasm occurs, it’s explosive and stronger than a typical climax. Congrats on finding your Casanova. -SQ

T.M.I. -Too Much Information

Dear Suze, I tried speed dating and had mixed results. I eliminated 2 guys immediately. One said they never had sex until the third date and would I agree, and the other guy said he never used protection. Should I keep trying?

Dear Trying, Was your strong negative reaction because these red flags were too much information, but just enough to dump them? First impressions from your gut, head, or heart should be trusted. Yes, keep trying different ways of meeting people. Love is no assignment for cowards (Ovid, Roman poet). -SQ

At What Point Is Enough?

Dear Suze Q. My sister’s in hospice for advanced dementia. Even though she doesn’t recognize anyone, her doting husband always visits to brush her hair, kiss her, and cry all the way home. I decided to stop driving the hundreds of miles monthly only to curse and scream at the unfairness of it all. It’s too much. Am I a bad person?

Dear Sister, You must take care of yourself before you burnout -give up, shut down, ignore your responsibilities, get depressed, or be useless to others. When bombarded with pain, your top priority is to keep your life balanced. When you get sad, change direction to get back to an even keel. Too frustrated ➡️ find some way to relax and retreat into calmness, or turn that negative energy to positive. As long as caregivers are with your sister’s final days, make peace with yourself and your personal choice to not see her again in this world. Only you can know if you’re a good/bad person, and saying goodbye to her now will not change that. -SQ