Dear Suze Q. My brother died last month after agonizing years of cancer. His wife is 20 years younger and apparently was having an affair. I picked up her phone to bring it to her last week and the text lit up with a sexual message. I’m so angry I can barely stand being around her as we dispose of his things. I think my sisters should know. He was dying and his wife was cheating!
Dear Hurting. Your pain is understandable and maybe your sis-in-law’s behavior is despicable. But you owe it to everyone to find out the entire story or keep this your secret forever. Why hurt your sisters when they’re just going to have more questions than answers and rage? Other possibilities exist that you should consider before spreading your pain to others without purpose. Talk to a therapist or neutral third party for advice; or talk to your sis-in-law about what you saw and let her tell her side of the story. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty by facts, not by presumptions. -SQ
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