Dear Suze, I was raised by highly religious parents, where shame was the main punishment for everything “evil,” especially sex. I’m finally free from family rule, with “wild” single gfs. They want me to live shame-free, explore the world, my body, and others. They gave me a sex toy for my birthday. I’m excited and scared. Where to start?
Dear Birthday Girl, Start in your head. Think of masturbation as time to explore your body; a form of sexual self-care. Schedule uninterrupted playtime (an hour or so). Create a sensual environment (candles, music, bathtub/bed). Dress in things that will arouse you as you slowly undress. Let your mind expand beyond your comfort zone to make room for the new you, as you stimulate different body parts; rub, stroke, pinch pleasure zones. Be generous with lube. Masturbation is a near-universal experience with physical and mental benefits. Discuss your experiences only with like-minded friends that will support and encourage your transformation to a sexual woman. Once you feel comfortable with masturbation as a form of self-love, you can more easily share happy sex, guilt-free, with another. -SQ
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