Dear S.Q. I’m spitting angry at my ex. He pries information out of the kids about my dating life, then informs me how unhappy they are. I’ve dated one guy in a year that the kids like and who never sleeps over when they’re home. Help!
Dear Angry, with good cause. Arguing with your ex is unnecessary and unhealthy-don’t do it. He’s not worth your time. Detach from him. Remember you’re divorced, so act like it -time him out like anyone with bad behavior. Then regain control of the situation. 1) talk to the kids about how Mom and Dad have different rules, activities, and FRIENDS, and it’s all good, just different. 2) if they’re caught in a loyalty conflict, get them a therapist who can do family systems therapy. Don’t exclude your ex. He’s part of the problem, but critical to the solution. -SQ
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