Dear SQ, I’m a young stud and have the world by the balls. Well, that was me at 30 and now I’m a successful businessman and husband about to retire at 65. My 35 y.o. son has this cocky mentality too but the world is a different place and it’s not working for him. Then, dominance through confidence won the day; things were more black and white. Today is much gentler in many ways that make you a better person -team player, inclusive of differences, factoring in of emotions. How to frame my lifetime of learning to work for my son?
Dear Stud, A daunting task that only you can personalize for your son. As you did, he has to honestly know his strengths and weaknesses and hone them to his best advantage. A successful framework is to master assertiveness v passivity or aggression. In simplest terms, assertiveness is getting your needs met without deny others theirs. Aggression is getting your needs met but denying others (you win, they lose). Passivity is not getting your needs met but others do (you lose, they win). Fair play when everyone feels respected despite the outcome is a critical skill in all positive relationships. Side effects are boosted over-all “health” that is defined by the World Health Organization as “a state of complete well-being, physical, mental, and social.” I would + that assertion skills as a life’s mantra includes emotional, sexual, spiritual, and other individualized forms of health. You found your way to success; you’ve been his mentor all his life. Time to help him reassess his life goals. -SQ
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