Dear Suze, I was paralyzed when my wife left me for the pool man! Isn’t that the ultimate cliche? I’ve ended 3 possible relationships since then because I’m terrified they’ll see I’m not good enough.
Dear Paralyzed, You’re good enough, but not healed from your wife’s gut-punch. So rather than face rejection again, you sabotage new relationships before they can really begin. You’re assuming the new woman will reject you like your wife did, so you reject them first. False thinking. You’re not seeing the new relationship on its own merits and that’s not fair for you or your new date. Analyze (with counseling maybe) what was REALLY your contribution to your failed marriage and change your ways. Determine what was your wife’s contribution and forgive, forget, be sad, mad, whatever… let it go and move on. Worst case: you get forever stuck and never love again. That would be a tragic waste of your life. Find the grit to be a better you. -SQ
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