Dear Suze, I’ve been dating a guy for a few months and I like him a lot, but I think he’s a chameleon. At first, I just thought we liked the same things, but there were so many shared interests, I knew we were soulmates. My friend asked me what originality he brought to the relationship, and I couldn’t think of anything. She laughed that I was in love with myself and he was just a clone. Is she right?
Dear Soul Seacher, A social chameleon is someone who blends in by mimicking. They read the social situation, anticipate the next response, and add to it to endear themselves. They care deeply about how others perceive them which can be their way to reduce social anxiety/neediness/loneliness, or just be a part of their pleasant personality. They are the opposite of “social zebras” who worship authenticity and couldn’t care less about fitting in. Chameleon love is often shallow, because they are. Heed your gf’s warning and find out if your guy has anything deeper to offer you. -SQ
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