Dear Suze Q. My sister’s in hospice for advanced dementia. Even though she doesn’t recognize anyone, her doting husband always visits to brush her hair, kiss her, and cry all the way home. I decided to stop driving the hundreds of miles monthly only to curse and scream at the unfairness of it all. It’s too much. Am I a bad person?
Dear Sister, You must take care of yourself before you burnout -give up, shut down, ignore your responsibilities, get depressed, or be useless to others. When bombarded with pain, your top priority is to keep your life balanced. When you get sad, change direction to get back to an even keel. Too frustrated ➡️ find some way to relax and retreat into calmness, or turn that negative energy to positive. As long as caregivers are with your sister’s final days, make peace with yourself and your personal choice to not see her again in this world. Only you can know if you’re a good/bad person, and saying goodbye to her now will not change that. -SQ
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