Creative Excuse for Keeping Secrets: Privacy v. Secrecy

Dear Suz, I’m dating a woman I like but she’s pushy. I end up withholding info because one question leads to 10. I have nothing to hide, but she says I’m keeping secrets. If we move forward, I’ll tell her everything. But for now, the only secret I have is that this relationship is DOA if she keeps pounding on me.

Dear Pounded, Let’s start with definitions: BAD -secrets in relationships that involve intentionally hiding things from your partner that are dishonest, violate trust, hurtful, misleading, toxic… GOOD -Privacy is healthy personal boundaries, like your history, opinions, thoughts, and experiences. Tell her exactly what you told me, adding humor and kisses. Encouraging her to stop interrogations, let time pass and stay if trust builds. -SQ