Saturday, October 12, 2024

Intimacy is Hard

Dear Suz, I’m embarrassed and have no one, not even my bffs that I can talk to about this seriously. My guy and I have been together for a year and he changes the subject when I talk about our future- marriage and kids. For his birthday, I got him his fantasy, a three-way with me and a hooker, thinking it would bring us closer. But, now he wants more kink and thinks I’m his ultimate party girl. 

Dear Party Girl, Seems like you’ve opened the “fantasy is reality” Pandora Box. Threesome is easy, exclusive intimacy is hard. Now you need to discuss your needs, desires, and boundaries. Make this chat non-threatening and casual so it flows naturally. Be specific, address one topic at a time: 1) In the long-run, darling, do you think we’ll get married and have kids? 2) I’m glad you enjoyed your b-d gift. What fantasies do you have that just you and I can share? 3) These are my fantasies… What do you think? The outcome should be a shared understanding. These clarifying conversations are healthy to have throughout the life of any real relationship (just as you have with friends and family). -SQ

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