Dear Suz, I’ve been dating a lovely man for almost a year. We’re both widowers in our 60s, and lost our long-term mates more than 10 years ago. Too often he brings up his spouse and gets sad. I assumed he’d be over grieving by now and I’m fed to the teeth with living with his ghost.
Dear Ghost Buster, Three’s a crowd in your relationship and grieving for 10 years is about 8 years beyond the norm. Sorrow for this long is likely depression, maybe malingering, and needs professional intervention. Sooo, 1) insist on therapy or you’ll leave; 2) tolerate it and watch yourself dissolve into a mad or sad mess. Obviously, it's not going to resolve on its own. -SQ
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