Dear Suz, I’ve been married for 30 beautiful years and love my wife deeply. Our “work hard & play hard” came to a screeching halt five years ago with my stroke. I’m fully recovered but lead a slower life with no booze or cigarettes. My wife still does both and says I’m no fun. I think she’s headed for her own crash and burn but she won’t listen. We’ve drifted apart, talk less, do more things separately. I’m considering exploring a secret life and letting our marriage collapse from neglect. Thoughts?
Dear Crossroads, Doing nothing is indeed one choice, but don’t lie to yourself later that you had no fault in the divorce. If you don’t care if the marriage survives, thrives, or flat-lines, maybe letting it take its natural course is fine. But if you’re not sure, seek answers, talk it out. Speak with her, chat with yourself in the mirror, confide in friends/family who give wise advice, or an unbiased professional. Don’t burden anyone by asking them to condone your choice to commit infidelity and lead a double life. That decision and consequences are yours alone. -SQ
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