Dear Suze Q. Our son in college hangs out mostly with guys, several we don’t know. He’s secretive about his social media, and has never shown any interest in girls except as friends. We’re okay if he’s gay, although his dad hopes it’s not true. We live in a conservative Midwest town, so some will make his life hard. Should I approach our son?
Dear Mom, Moms often know things long before others do. Would your son be comforted knowing it’s ok with the family to be gay; is he struggling with his sexual identity or how to deal with others who will disapprove; is your relationship close enough to have very intimate talks? Perhaps begin a light-hearted conversation, joking even, by saying that you and Dad have noticed he’s never had a romantic relationship with a girl, and if he doesn’t want to marry and have children, that’s ok. In fact, if he were gay, that would be ok too. Open the door, see if he walks through -then follow his lead. Now may not be the time he wants to talk, but he’ll know you’re there to listen when/if he’s ready. -SQ
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