Are You The Passenger, Copilot, Or Pilot In Your Relationship?

Dear Suze Q. I thought it was a compliment when my husband 10 years ago said he wanted to marry me because he loved me and I was low maintenance. I’m easy to get along with and happy to have someone else make the choices. When speaking up doesn’t get what I want, I just do it on my own -problem solved. Now he wants a divorce because I’m too “vanilla.” 

Dear Van, Think of relationships in terms of pilot, co-pilot, or passenger, and understand you never had a co-equal partnership, you just went along for the ride. A laid-back person is great unless the partner does all the work; makes all decisions, executes all plans. Then, your rubber-stamping everything he wants is unfulfilling. It’s the same as talking to himself in a mirror. What do you add? If you plan to date or marry again, you need to think hard how to be a  partner. -SQ