Dear Suze Q. At 30, I finally felt comfortable with a boyfriend who, like me, has anxiety issue with years of therapy. But beyond comforting and understanding each other, it’s tough work. Lately, he’s more unavailable when I really need him. He says he’s sorry and I’m sorry too, but that doesn’t help.
Dear Sorry, When anxieties amplify each other and increase your conflicts, insight isn’t enough. The push-pull dynamic you describe is not uncommon -when you need his support and reassurance but he pulls back because he feels overwhelmed by the intense intimacy he desperately wants but fears. This relationship’s strength may be best as friends, but too complex and painful as lovers. Keep at it until you know if it can work in the long run. -SQ
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