Dear Suze, My 5-year-old daughter and her 4-year-old male friend were “playing doctor.” Luckily, his mother was there visiting so we created a quick plan and told them together that touching other’s “private parts” was not allowed, then started an activity that included all of us. I think it was innocent curiosity, but my friend is reluctant to leave her son here without her.
Dear Level-Headed, Keep having play dates so your child knows she’s not punished or did anything wrong. Invite his mother too. If she stops your friendship, then it never really was one. Add more supervision with no closed doors. Kudos that you didn’t show anger, overreact, or shame the children. Sex play is normal curiosity for 3-6-year-olds, -once, -assuming there was no forced participation or penetration. Tell your friend you’re using this “teachable moment” about good/bad touches; no touching private parts where your bathing suit covers; good/bad secrets; names for body parts; simple explanations for where babies come from; why girls & boys have different genitalia. Maybe she’ll follow your sensible lead. -SQ
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