When is Cheating Cheating?

 

Dear Suz, What constitutes "cheating?" Is it a scale with notches above and below zero?  When my wife giggles and smiles with another man, is this cheating?  Are sexy text messages exchanged with a stranger cheating? What if there is no chance of ever meeting the person, just playful fantasy, is that cheating? I am so unclear where the line is. How do I know when I have committed a No No?

 

Dear Wants to No-No. Cheating is different for every couple and can only be defined by them. Don't overthink this. Cheating/infidelity is defined as when someone in a monogamous romantic relationship, and without their partner's consent, involves themselves in an emotional or sexual relationship.  As to your last question -"how do I know when I have committed a No No," please! Spare me the self-righteous denial. That's what your heart and head (both of them) are for. One might lie to their partner and say they don't know if they cheated, but I've yet to meet an honest person who didn't know at least moments before they crossed the line. -SQ