Gray Divorce

Dear Suze Q. This is painful to write. I’m a one woman man.  My high school love of my life and wife of 33 years and I are in therapy. She says we’re lazy and not fun anymore.  I’m working hard on her list for me to change. I’ve lost 30 pounds, stopped smoking and drink less, cut work to only 40 hours a week, and we’re taking our second set of swing dance classes. I’m pretty sure my wife has mentally checked out of the marriage and only stays in therapy to convince herself that she tried.  Tired of Trying

Dear Tired of Trying.  You could be right that she’s moved on. Ask your therapist for an individual session and bluntly discuss your concerns and options.  As people live longer, older couples who divorce, called gray divorces, are more common.  As painful as it is to leave a long-term marriage, your best years are still ahead.  Whether you stay together or not, now is the time to focus on the self-improvement goals you’ve achieved, add new passions and priorities, and chase your curiosities.   -SQ