Saturday, February 10, 2024

Ill At Ease with Herpes?

Dear Suze Q.  I've been romantically involved for about a year and my partner just had a genital herpes outbreak.  I was shocked.  She said she had a few flare-ups in her 20s but swears she hasn't been with anyone else since we've been together.  I want to marry her but I'm heartbroken to think she's lying.  I need to know the truth so I can decide what to do.  Now that my trust has been shaken, I question everything she says.  Shaken, not cured.

Dear Shaken,  Herpes is a lifelong viral infection, not an indication of infidelity or a death blow to a relationship.  It can remain dormant for years after the first outbreak, and return when specific triggers activate it such as: recent sexual intercourse, surgery, infections, stress, or other causes.  A recurrent outbreak does not mean she was sexual with someone else. While there is no cure yet, there are treatment options.  Get medical advice to understand this common contagious infection before deciding if you want a future together.  If your trust is restored, there is no reason you both cannot have a full and enjoyable sex life once you gain education and follow medical advice on this subject.  -SQ 

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