Lots of these frogs are swimming around. The most common is the Widower. He may be new to the dating scene or just tells you this, unwittingly revealing that he's wishy-washy about the whole loving-someone-again thing. He's not over the loss of his significant other and he has no clue as to how to heal and move on. The more time that you spend with this frog, the more frustrated that you feel. There is nothing that you can do to help him except leave him alone and tell him to call you when he's ready for a commitment (and not a second before, thank you very much).
Other subspecies include the Recently Separated, or the rare type, Separated in Name Only (but still shares the same house). Recent physical separation is no better than recently emotionally separated. These guys are full of overflowing and conflicting emotions that make him a constant puddle of chaos. He talks about his S.O. when he's supposed to be getting to know you. He's not available in any context. Move on.
Then there's the Future Widower who's a real heartbreaker. He makes you want to hug and fuck and tell him it will all work out. His partner is dying in some form or another -chronic heart disease, cancer, dementia. At best, you can give him some relief and remove him from his daily grind of watching someone he loves waste away. But unless you want to be his nurse, save yourself grief and walk away. Otherwise, his pain will become your pain too, pulling you both down. Stay in your lane, girlfriend. Remember your goal is to find your Prince. Don't get side-tracked.
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