FOI/C FROG

FOI/C (rhymes loosely with fuck) - This frog has a gigantic FEAR OF INTIMACY/COMMITMENT.  He is emotionally unavailable and will routinely reduce your self-esteem to a puddle of heartache.  The more you try to engage on a deeper level, the weirder and more mixed messages you get.  Over time, you find yourself consumed with absolute certainty that you will soon break through and find that he IS the Prince Charming you occasionally glimpse.  Nope.  Run, Forest, Run.  This frog is toxic waste and will strip your sense of self.  But this death by a thousand papercuts is so slow it's hard to know what's wrong with the relationship.  Often it's your bff who figures it out for you long before you're willing to surrender and walk away.  Take heart, lots of good frogs are waiting for your kisses. 

                  Never Married, No Kids, No Clue - is a subspecies of the FOI/C that has never had a pet or intimate friends.  He has acquaintances, a few superficial friends, and tolerates those people's animals.  There frogs come in quite a variety, from those that can't stand being alone, to those who are exceedingly needy and lonely, or those that desperately want to learn how to be intimate but have never mastered the most basic social skills of give and take.  There's a reason they've never married...